There’s a lot in life that I can be pretty indecisive about- little things. But I’ve always been very decisive about one big thing- when your heart’s not in it anymore, it’s okay to try a new path.
There are some people who seem born knowing what they want to do in life (or perhaps feel they “should” do), and they take that path, no questions asked. They know what they want and nothing’s going to change their mind.
I am not one of those people.
I’ve taken a lot of paths along my life, starting from when I was a little girl.
I was sure I was going to be a veterinarian (for cats, of course) or a marine biologist (so I could take care of the otters) or a teacher. Then I started playing piano and wanted to be a musician, playing back-up piano for Fiona Apple until I could start my solo career or open my record company (always thinkin big!) Then in high school I found videography and dreamed of going to film school to become a cinematographer. And in college in found poetry and wanted to move to the woods somewhere and become a poet and teach.
Yet somehow, when the time came to find my first full time job after graduating school, I found myself smack dab in the middle of a cubicle, answering customer service calls. So not on the “what I want to be when I grow up” list.
Almost as soon as I got the job, I changed my mind and realized it wasn’t for me. I was going to quit and go back to school to get a Master’s in writing, just needed to figure out hooow to paaay for it…. hmmm… so I started writing a blog from my cube in the meantime.
The blog surprisingly took off over a couple years, and the next vision I had was to grow that blog audience into a real full time job and become a shop owner! I started an online consignment shop and was able to quit my cubicle job, and move up to Portland! It was bustling and going fantastically well- so well, that it came to the point that I needed to hire help. But I just couldn’t take that next step because I realized over time, I didn’t really want to be a shop owner! I missed making and hated the management side of it all. So I changed my mind, and closed up shop.
Then I started an offshoot blog offering advice to indie business people- it was amazing and took off as well over another year or so. But I started to be pulled in too many directions, still also blogging at Modish 2-3 times/day for my bread and butter. So, I changed my mind and stopped writing the biz blog.
Then I decided I was sick of being trapped in the house all day long, glued to my computer, and wanted to incorporate “gettin’ out there” more into my job description. So I turned my fave hobby of thrift store shoppin’/estate sale hoppin’ into a business and opened up a vintage shop on etsy! After about a year (uh, I’m seeing a pattern here :) with my house being taken over by clothes racks and thrift store shopping feeling more like a job then fun anymore, I (say it with me!) changed my mind, and closed up shop #2!
That’s when I decided to change it all up! Change what I write about on my blog- make it personal. Change my whole business model- no more blogging for dollars, it’s relentless. I went back to the heart of what I know best.
Am I a flake for changing my mind so damn much and I should’ve just picked a skill and run with it? Maybe.
But in changing my mind, in following my heart, in pursuing every inkling and interest I’ve had, I’ve learned all these skills and have gone through the experiences that have led me to here: making a living that’s filled with creativity, fun, challenge and ease- doing something I literally couldn’t have imagined for myself as a kid, but I actually think it’s what I’ve always wanted.
We’re often taught to just grin and bear it, endure, stay the course. Indecision is seen as weak and undesirable. I think that’s why we can get terrified to make some of the changes we want to make in our lives- “What if I make the wrong decision?!? Oh, the horrah!”
So what if you do? You can always change your mind.
I choose a life of indecision, of experimentation, of staying open to experiences and a change in plans.
The awesome ability you have to change your mind at anytime is not one to waste. Take that step. Make that change. Do that thing. And if it doesn’t work, and you change your mind- you’ll figure out what to do next. Trust yourself!
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Check out Jen’s post which shares some great reasons why to change your mind.
Share your thoughts/tips/struggles around changing your mind on your blog too, and we’ll post a link right here for our readers to check out!
Rebecca from Patterned shares thoughts on committing vs. going with your gut!
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Have you changed your mind about something but are afraid to act on it? How will you feel if you stay the course and see it thru til the end? And if you don’t? What’s a time you changed your mind on something for the better?
We’d love to hear your thoughts and stories around changing your mind! Do share, Mavens! :)
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Right on, Jena!! I’ve started taking some programming classes at my local community college, and have felt so weird sharing the idea that someday I might do something other than make jewelry. It feels so good to do something new!
Yeah Betsy!! That’s awesome you’re getting into something new, I totally understand that need (obviously :) and the weird looks from friends and family when you tell them you’re totally into something different now. But if it feels fun and rewarding to you, you’re onto something! Keep it up girl, happy you’re exploring! -jena
So funny seeing you list of things you wanted to be ‘when you grow up’ Jena. (Working with otters – too gorgeous). Through high school I wanted to be – a butcher, a florist, a teacher and an Oscar winning actress (I rehearsed my acceptance speech in front of the mirror a lot). I was at a crossroads about a year after high school with the choice to become an apprentice mechanic or a secretary. I needed the dollars, so went with secretary. My Mum was a secretary and she always said it was the one job she didn’t want me to do – under paid and under appreciated. How right she was :)
At 37, I started going after the dream I’ve had since the days of that first secretary job. It’s been pulling at me for so long and a ‘mid life major re-assessment’ meant I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I am excited to see where it can go, where it can take me and who I become as part of the journey.
I know a girl who wanted to be a doctor since she was 8 and she has grown up to become one. There are other people who say even at 40, they don’t know what they want to be when they grow up. And that’s okay too.
It’s better to try a thousand things than to be stuck in one place you hate and not have the courage to change.
Haha, I love your list! Florist is on my list for the future still, for my “retirement” career, hah! :) That is SO AWESOME that you’re going after the dream that’s been pulling at you for so long- you’ve been telling us bits and pieces but I didn’t realize it was such a long time coming- go you!! I agree it’s better to keep exploring then to stay stuck in something you KNOW is not right, and so glad you have the courage to go for it! Thanks for contributing your wise words again, Coral! -jena
Jena this was SO encouraging to me and I’m sending the post over to a friend who I was just having this same conversation with last night. Thank you for sharing your experience. I really appreciate it!
YAY! That’s so good to hear and thank you for sharing it too! I think from the outside it looks like everyone else seems to have their stuff together and know exactly where they’re going, so I just wanted to show that that’s so not true! I think in one way or another I’ll always be exploring who I’m meant to be, and that’s probably a good thing. Good luck with whatever changes may be ahead for you JoAnna! :) -jena